Dawn Downey, author
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Damn Fine Sentence #63

2/14/2024

 
While I’m reading, a sentence will grab me and force me to stop. I pay tribute to other authors by sharing their Damn Fine Sentences with you. Then I recount a memory the words bring up for me. It’s about how books connect with your life.
###

“… Horses had a nose for things that stray out from other worlds and stumble into ours.”
——Ta-Nehisi Coates
—--The Water Dancer
I stood at the top of the stairs, alone in the house, except for my two cats. On my way to the kitchen for a snack, I paused to relish the midnight silence, the dark of my familiar surroundings. A railing overlooked the first floor entry, where my tabby lay, committed to licking every square millimeter of his body. He was sprawled on his side, front paw raised to meet his tongue. My black cat was winding an infinity loop around my ankles. My brain said, okay, take a step now, but before the signal reached my leg, both cats jerked their heads to point at the same invisible spot in the direction of the back door. They froze. I froze. The house was quiet as a graveyard, I lost my appetite and crawled back into bed, covers over my head.

Bottoms Up

2/10/2024

 
Gravity stole my bottom.

What used to resemble a pair of cantaloupes, now resembled a pancake. Looking sideways into the closet mirror, at first I didn’t believe it. I turned to a three-quarters view. I cleaned my glasses. I cleaned the mirror. I took a below-the-waist selfie. The evidence was undeniable.

If only there had been a warning. I’d known gravity would claim other body parts as I aged, but a round posterior was part and parcel to being a black woman. I’ve known only one African American woman whose shape departed from this norm—Bonita, a college dorm-mate. Other black girls sneered at her flattened backside, as though it made her less black, as though she’d sold out.

Having grown up with a white step-mom, white cousins, in-laws, and family friends, all shaped just like Bonita, I hadn’t understood why her rear end had been such an affront.

I grew up flipping through Vogue and Cosmopolitan, the pages filled with images of Lauren Hutton, Jerry Hall, and Marissa Berenson. Images of flat-bottomed women were ubiquitous. When Iman and Beverly Johnson began to show up in the fashion magazines, I became aware of what had been missing: images of me. I was absent from television commercials and billboards. Designers didn’t engineer clothes that fit an African-American's shape. The older I got, the angrier I got. I was invisible. I didn’t count. After decades of shopping trips that were exercises in political outrage, I was fuming at Bonita’s bottom, too.

Now I was stuck with it.

I dropped onto the bed on top of the down comforter, which fluffed around me, unconcerned about my shape. I had wanted to age with grace, rolling with the changes, soaking up the wisdom. Lying there in my foul mood, I neither rolled nor soaked. Suppose I died this instant. Here lies Dawn Downey. Her last thought was, what happened to my bottom?

I got up and faced the truth, grabbed a hand mirror so I could see from behind like in a dressing room three-way mirror. Over my shoulder I saw an anonymous body part. It held neither political affiliation nor ethnic identification.

No big deal.

I went to the closet to get dressed—a wasteland of ill-fitting clothes. Jeans that used to be too big in the waist were now too big everywhere.

One thing about Bonita—she always had cute clothes.

I threw on an ill-fitting outfit and grabbed my purse. Dillard’s was having a sale.

Damn fine Sentence #62

2/10/2024

 
While I’m reading, a sentence will grab me and force me to stop. I pay tribute to other authors by sharing their Damn Fine Sentences with you. Then I recount a memory the words bring up for me. It’s about how books connect with your life.

###

“This man is really trying to all-lives-matter my game.”
———Brittney Morris
——--Slay

Kansas City funded artists to create Black Lives Matter murals on the pavement of six streets around town. It was beautiful—the community coming together in hope and excitement. The streets blocked off. Artists, volunteers, and families out on a Saturday celebrating Black lives through art.

One of the murals is painted on the main boulevard running through my white-flight neighborhood. On the section that the mural decorates, left turn arrows, roundabouts, and street lights corral six lanes of traffic. You can turn into an upscale mall, or back onto the highway, or up the hill past million dollar homes with privileged views of the city below.

If I’m stopped at one of the red lights at this complicated intersection, and if there’s no traffic in front of me, I might glimpse a swath of color that looks like paint spilled onto the street. And if I can ignore the SUV grille filling my rearview mirror, I might remember the color swath is a BLM mural.
I might remember that I’m not spilled paint.

I might remember, until the light turns green. Then the other drivers and I grind Black Lives into the concrete, as we rush to destinations that Matter.
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