I loaded up From Dawn to Daylight and set the iPad on the music stand. Hands folded demurely, microphone only an inch from my cheek, toes bumping the music stand, I shrank to fit.
The first lines of "Porta-Potty Blues" offered up familiar words to practice on. “My husband booked us into a cabin for the ….” My breath gave out. “It’s got electricity, but no running water.” A coughing fit ensued. “Honey, does it have a sink?” I sounded like Tom Waits.
On the other side of the booth's window, Mild-Mannered Mark sat in an office chair in front of the sound board. He flipped a switch. “Whenever you’re ready.”
As soon as I slipped the headphones on, my body snapped into Wonder Woman stance. Energy surged into my vocal cords, filling them with strength and agility. Wonder Woman belted out the funny stories, caressed the sad ones. Her super breath whooshed through page-long passages. Her stamina lasted twelve hours, forty-three minutes, fifteen seconds, before she signaled she was ready for a break.
I glanced through the window. Mild-Mannered Mark had disappeared. In his place--Markosa, Jedi Master of Planet Sound. Lightning flashed from his chair. His hands exploded into action, blurring as he switched channels, zapped reverb, and twisted encoder wheels. His fingers blazed across the mixer, faster than a flying fader.
“Okay,” he said. “Tell me what you think.”
Through the headphones, my voice traveled back to me, full and round. Sultry. Oh yeah.
A bad day for recording an audiobook. A great day for super powers.
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