FOURTEEN REASONS TO GO FOR A WALK … OUTSIDE … RIGHT NOW.
- Your pants have cobwebs.
- Your lungs are bored.
- Amazon redirected your search and sent you to Debtors Anonymous dot org.
- You watch television, phone, and computer simultaneously.
- You lost your shoes six months ago.
- Your smart speaker spontaneously plays “Walk on the Wild Side.”
- That’s not a UFO. It’s the sun.
- You last saw your belt at the bottom of the junk drawer.
- You talk to Facebook out loud.
- You’ve memorized the loop on your fake fireplace flames.
- You’re looking forward to a UPS delivery so you can flirt with the driver.
- You’ve forgotten that “zoom” used to mean “go fast.”
- There’s only one thing streaming on Netflix that you have not seen: a reality show about tattoo artists. In episode one, contestants compete by tattooing pig carcasses, which are hanging from hooks in a meat packing cooler.
- You watch it.